Day 365. It's been a year. It's the end, the last day. There was at least one point (like day 269) where I felt I wanted to keep going to see this through to the end, this daily writing which I ended up deciding to do for a year, until the anniversary, until today. Making … Continue reading Memento Mori
Oversized Chocolate Bar Day
Today is Oversized Chocolate Bar Day. "What?" one might ask. "Isn't it St. Patrick's Day?" Fret not; I shall explain. Exactly a year ago, I sent my therapist the following text messages. (My therapist replied saying that I've always tried to fade into the background and don't like to be noticed; that she thinks the … Continue reading Oversized Chocolate Bar Day
Festive
To eat, drink, and be merry—that's what you and I wanted for you. (I found it intriguing when you said the same phrase and I hadn't even mentioned it to you.) Yet you couldn't eat much, and in the end, you didn't drink or eat and merriment was hard to come by. So this month—especially … Continue reading Festive
Car
A few hours after having my car battery replaced on the side of the street (day 315), I realized that battery was the one that my mom had bought. I hadn't thought about it and felt sad that I hadn't gotten a picture of it. And when I realized, I kinda felt like I'd lost … Continue reading Car
Cheesecake
Dear vegan cheesecake I ordered last night, When I first tried you, I thought you tasted like garbage. I took more bites and they tasted like already eaten food. I thought you were laughably bad. Even though I didn't like you, I put the rest of you in the fridge for later because I didn't … Continue reading Cheesecake
(Trash) Fire
1:58 P.M. I can feel like I don't want to do this anymore. Other than wanting to die, I can also feel that I want to be on to the next thing. What if I were to throw it all away? Just as one might toss in the trash something they don't attach much meaning … Continue reading (Trash) Fire
Hollow
12:28 A.M. June 7 (day 71)—the day of the profound trip that I've mentioned before. During that trip, I sent my therapist a text message. Well, multiple text messages, but there's one in particular: Killing myself isn't the answer. Suicide isn't the answer. Death isn't the answer. Keep going. TO WHERE? The question being how … Continue reading Hollow
Suffering
Just gonna post my therapy assignment here. I was given a question... and then I answered it. The existential crisis that I refer to started on day 294. Question How do I balance being a highly sensitive person with suffering? Answers Answer written during an existential crisis Near the beginning of the crisis Consider that … Continue reading Suffering
Nature
I fell into another depressive existential crisis yesterday. Started voice journaling about life and suffering and decided to turn it into a blog post: Not blaming anyone, any person, when it seems to me none of us asked to be how we are. And if we look past people and to nature itself, it's seemingly … Continue reading Nature
2 5ths
Remember, remember the 5th of... January. In 2021, I made a blog post on January 5th, and in 2022 I made a related post on January 5th. I find it interesting how that occurred, so I'm doing so again, but this time intentionally. First, two years ago, I wrote the post Feariosity in which I … Continue reading 2 5ths
