Despite whatever threats there may be, I will do this anyway. Despite any fears, I will live and do as I will to what is mine. It is my right, and for me to stop, they will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. And if they do, I will haunt them when … Continue reading Defy
Meta-Meth
Being drawn to stories of hardship and resilience -- maybe we should think BEYOND this. Think beyond the hardships. Some contend that we are the author of our stories, that we (or perhaps even the "collective unconscious") compose the events -- that it's like enjoying tragic shows and horror movies. If we are the authors … Continue reading Meta-Meth
A True Leader
The humble leader realizes they may make mistakes. Not just showing what to do, they show what not to do. The humble leader says, "Be better than me. I want you to be better than me. Learn what I know so that you can do better." The humble leader embraces, pays homage. The leader is … Continue reading A True Leader
Expanding
They fear consciousness expandingbut consciousness expands regardless.They think their hate will burn us downbut love will light our way. If you love, accept, and appreciate beyond prescribed narrow categorical boxes,you have already won. If you look out at today and see the injustices, if you long for something better,you have already won. I smile quietly … Continue reading Expanding
Insanity
I can have feelings/thoughts of cognitive dissonance surrounding therapy, when therapeutic approaches can seem so outer focused (how to help you cope with the world as it is) and I can feel I'd rather detach from the reality/world at large. Though it might be insightful to relate my experience to intersectionality, for example, I can … Continue reading Insanity
Voices
Neglecting time sensitive work task in favor of tasks more personally interesting? Yes. Last month, I began planning to embark on a personal project, what was for me an undertaking of a lifetime. Okay, that sounds dramatic, but it was a feat I'm glad I undertook and happy that, as of three weeks ago, I … Continue reading Voices
Believe
One weekend, I was chatting with Claude (like ChatGPT but Anthropic instead of OpenAI). Starting the previous day, I’d gone through with starting to order parts to build a PC, but by the next morning, I was feeling pretty anxious about having potentially ordered an unsupported motherboard. I planned to call the manufacturer to ask, … Continue reading Believe
Transmaterial
Envisioning Some people want to take over the world. I want to get away from it. A place where time doesn't matter. A world where you never have to wash anything. No laundry necessary. A world where you never have to take out any trash. A world where you never have to do any cleaning … Continue reading Transmaterial
In Search of Authenticity: Part II
Last post, I left off talking about upcoming interviews I had. Thursday I've felt before that I hated interviews. Perhaps part of it was feeling I'm really bad at thinking up answers on the spot, and another part was the lack of authenticity. But I feel like these interviews have been more authentic for me, … Continue reading In Search of Authenticity: Part II
In Search of Authenticity: Part I
I will start part I of this series by including two posts I drafted in the past two weeks but never published. content warning: over-the-counter (OTC) substance use 12 February So, I haven’t been doing the best lately. I might have uh… scared my therapist a bit… Life can seem so absurd that it seems … Continue reading In Search of Authenticity: Part I
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