Alive

The bathroom floor. That's where I've been sleeping and hanging out for the past few days/nights. It's somewhere to be alone, and an isolated space away from my cat whom I can feel can want and provide too much affection. First it was my mom and now it's the cat. On the next page is … Continue reading Alive →

Simplicity

Moving here—I feel I enjoyed the journey more than I enjoy the destination. On the way here, I splurged a bit on the food and lived life at least a little during that time. Man... that food is nostalgic, like that crispy tofu sandwich or that burrito that I ordered and didn't realize would be … Continue reading Simplicity →

Existential University

Content Warning: suicide, substance use, self-harm Past Days I initially went to college because I thought that was just what I was supposed to do. That was the message I got during high school. A few years before I graduated high school, I would think about life and question existence, but the existential depression didn't … Continue reading Existential University →

Reflection

Seven years ago around this time (September), I tried to end myself. What's changed since then? I don't feel as terribly depressed. Though the existential crises can still be difficult, I'm more or less acquainted with them. I've learned that I have social anxiety. I'd get this weird feeling either during or after being around … Continue reading Reflection →

Appearances

I'm at a grocery store because Mom wanted me to get her some grapes. This morning I was cold, so I put on a hoodie. I'm still wearing this hoodie in 90° F weather... and maybe I didn't shower this morning. It's hot. I roll up my sleeves and reveal my scars to the world, … Continue reading Appearances →