Insanity

I can have feelings/thoughts of cognitive dissonance surrounding therapy, when therapeutic approaches can seem so outer focused (how to help you cope with the world as it is) and I can feel I'd rather detach from the reality/world at large. Though it might be insightful to relate my experience to intersectionality, for example, I can … Continue reading Insanity →

Transmaterial

Envisioning Some people want to take over the world. I want to get away from it. A place where time doesn't matter. A world where you never have to wash anything. No laundry necessary. A world where you never have to take out any trash. A world where you never have to do any cleaning … Continue reading Transmaterial →

I Am

After eight years, it turns out I'd been right all along? In September 2016, I felt I finally had a word that explained the way that I was. I'd broken down in my therapist's office, wishing I was dead, and three days later, I told my dad to take me there again. Since I didn’t … Continue reading I Am →

Candle-Lit Cake

Some time after writing my previous post, I actually started to feel good about being alive. I had a whim to get a bike. Even before I lived here, I thought about getting a bike to get around. But ever since being here, I'm still afraid of Running people over Being run over And also … Continue reading Candle-Lit Cake →

Peh

Premises What if my premises are wrong? Then my conclusion does not follow. Premises can consist of beliefs which can be fact-based or opinion-based. Facts are either right or wrong while opinions are neither right nor wrong. People can come to find that what they took to be true isn't true, or they could change … Continue reading Peh →

Absurdity II

The human mind is like the dream and life itself is like waking life. Humans try to construe life to make sense to them, attempting to categorize things, drawing lines that end up being essentially arbitrary. Maybe the very idea of making sense is merely a human thing, or a mind thing. Does that make … Continue reading Absurdity II →

Absurdity

I can feel like I don't want to be part of this world. When I'm dreaming, what happens in the dream can seem to make total sense. Then I wake up and reflect on the dream and realize that it didn't make sense. It didn't make sense that I could breathe underwater. It didn't make … Continue reading Absurdity →

Loop

Content Warning: suicide, drug trip Summer Trip I last got high on a certain over-the-counter substance almost a year ago—August 10, 2020. I felt nostalgic of my past experiences with this substance. In addition, I was stuck in a pattern of thinking—much the same as I have been recently—and I wanted to "change" my mind. … Continue reading Loop →

Slipknot

Lately I've been resistant and contrarian. I realize that my perspective is merely that–a perspective–yet I have difficulty being open to the contrary. I think it's at least partly because I think I have reached this perspective from logical conclusions. Perhaps I am afraid of letting go of what I consider to be logical. The … Continue reading Slipknot →

Abstraction

An interface allows you to interact with an object without seeing its inner workings. Hiding an object's inner workings behind the wall of an interface is known as abstraction.Even though you don't necessarily know what's going on under the hood of a vehicle, you can still operate it by using the brake and gas pedals … Continue reading Abstraction →