Distaste

As of now, life seems unpalatable. All the paths--at least the obvious ones--appear unappealing, though there could be many approaches that I haven't thought of. So how do I find them? Maybe I can take advantage of this apathy I've had as of late and risk looking foolish or idiotic (or, well, even more so) … Continue reading Distaste →

Bound

I realize that my view of life as inherently meaningless is just that: a point of view. Wanting to be outside of it, to think beyond it, yet still being within it. There might never be a resolution, as I return here again and again. I acknowledge that I am limited by the confines of … Continue reading Bound →

Meaningful Meaninglessness

It's strange, this world of paradoxes. Finding meaning in the potential pointlessness of it all. Finding sweetness in the bitter and bitterness in the sweet--cloying. If there is nothing, even nothing could be considered a member of something. Less questioning and feeling silly about my actions, for if everything is equally meaningless then perhaps everything … Continue reading Meaningful Meaninglessness →

Something More

Appreciating what already is rather than striving for more. Hedonic adaptation causes constant stretching and constant reaching, leads to rarely resting and taking it all for granted. Reflecting on life, wondering if this is all there is, if there is nothing more. Why should there be more? Be glad that I don't have to fulfill … Continue reading Something More →

Lenses

Where and when we were born, the culture we were raised in, who raised us, the situations we encountered... so much can shape how we view life. It's not about winning people over to your point of view. If a particular approach to life works for you, then great; embrace it. But don't expect that … Continue reading Lenses →

Red Pill

So maybe I doubt everything. Threw all of the feel good stuff out the window in search for "truth," whatever that is. In this moment I'm actually finding it fun (Just don't think about the existential despair I've felt. Nope, just sweep that under the rug. La la la, it was never there). All of … Continue reading Red Pill →

Fun

I have been sucked into a whirlpool yet again. I had a depressive episode of nihilism, but the next day I concluded that even if life has no inherent meaning, I can still have fun. This isn't hedonism in the ordinary sense. I still have to keep things balanced to ensure optimal fun-ness. Not over … Continue reading Fun →

Shifting

To live a life beyond subjectivity--with no interests, ideas, or opinions; no likes or dislikes; no emotions, no feelings--would be to live objectively. But would I really want that? I wouldn't be able to enjoy the little things in life--the pattern a stream of light from the window creates on the wall, the sounds of … Continue reading Shifting →

Questioning

I feel... I suppose dissatisfied with life. Life isn't necessarily about anything in particular and yet people try to make it so. In the United States and similar countries, it's about working... and stuff like "being responsible." Maybe this resembles my experience when I had that internship in college: it's society's version of success. But … Continue reading Questioning →

Instability

At first I thought it was about choice To have an objective perspective would mean not having to choose, not having to wonder if your particular perspective is true or if you're missing out on a better perspective and severely limiting yourself. With objectivity, you don't have to worry about the subjectivity of your perspective, … Continue reading Instability →