Robots

What would it be like to be a robot? Perhaps simpler because not only do robots lack those complicated things called "emotions," but they're programmed, which means a relief from choices. But then humans are programmed too. Some people think TV can program you ("That's why they're called 'programs'" said one guy in the psych … Continue reading Robots →

Philosophical Thought Vomit: Wut Make A Hooman?

I was thinking that in a way, I am a different person with the same memories. I have the same memories as 14-year-old me but I'm made up of different cells—a whole new form but the same memories. I also have different perceptions of those memories. Then I realized, after recalling hysteresis and how present … Continue reading Philosophical Thought Vomit: Wut Make A Hooman? →

Illusions and Happiness

I've decided that I don't care if it's an illusion. I don't care if I'm popping the blue pill (It's more of a purple pill actually.). I want to be happy, and I don't want to throw my happiness away in the name of rationality. Goals, purpose, gratitude, etc.--I don't need to dwell on the … Continue reading Illusions and Happiness →

It’s Better Right Now

I read through a notebook I used to write in five years ago. It's pretty depressing. I really feel for myself. Back then, I couldn't feel much of anything but depression and apathy, the pain of Nothing. I'm so happy now that I can feel again. I can feel joy again. I don't feel just … Continue reading It’s Better Right Now →

More than One Kind of Cookie

People might want you to believe that there is only one kind of cookie, but don't buy it--don't buy their cookies... unless you really want to. There are a variety of cookies, and one person's delicious could be another's vile. I tried someone's cookies. They had dark chocolate chunks in them. Sweet yet bitter. In … Continue reading More than One Kind of Cookie →

Meaning and Muse

To struggle with meaning--a perturbation, an unpleasant sensation, a constant questioning. Continually challenging what one finds important. This, does it really matter? Does it really matter to me? I find myself here again. Perhaps it's now a yearly recurrence. I want to finish it... if not for myself, then for you. I want to tell … Continue reading Meaning and Muse →

Musings on Meaning

Creating Meaning If I create my own meaning, then why not create as much meaning as possible? Well, I don't want to. I don't always like the idea of creating meaning out of something. It's like... I know I'm creating it, forcibly extracting something. And then it doesn't seem very meaningful at all. It's forced … Continue reading Musings on Meaning →

Worthy/Unworthy

Is life worth living? That can depend on one's mindset. In one particular moment, I might feel as though life is worth living, and in the next, that feeling could slip away. It all passes--transience, unlasting. If I take time in the moment to write about how life is worth living, or if I take … Continue reading Worthy/Unworthy →

(In)significant Deluge

Today I drove on the highway while I was completely blind. OK, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but I did drive into some heavy rain. It started off with a few raindrops, but it picked up and I could barely see anything. I felt my heart in my chest, pounding, quickening. Thrill. I knew I'd … Continue reading (In)significant Deluge →

Stories

Life is an amalgamation of the stories we live and the stories we tell ourselves--what we tell ourselves about others, about occurences, about ourselves. It seems we try to get at more or less the same things in life, but we experience this differently. The external world is filtered through our perceptions. In this regard, … Continue reading Stories →