Transmaterial

Envisioning Some people want to take over the world. I want to get away from it. A place where time doesn't matter. A world where you never have to wash anything. No laundry necessary. A world where you never have to take out any trash. A world where you never have to do any cleaning … Continue reading Transmaterial →

350

For the past four years, I've made a post on January 5. The first two were unintentionally on the same day. The third was intentional, and the fourth wasn't completely intentional. This post is intentional, and, fittingly, it's my three-hundred-fiftieth post. This post will be similar to 2023's post: a reflection of what happened since … Continue reading 350 →

Salvation

Salvation, damnation -- I could have made either choice in my last apartment. After one fateful trip, I'd come to the conclusion that choices poise alternate realities in which those choices have been implemented. Solutions already tried and failed. And then it seems we forget and so we end up trying the same things and … Continue reading Salvation →

Eterni-phobia

I'd been avoidant of again listening to Purity Ring's song "Begin Again" (from their aptly named album Another Eternity). Because I don't always like the idea of eternity, of eternal recurrence. Of life (and thus the suffering—not only my own but others' too) continuing on and happening again and again and again. Of reliving life. … Continue reading Eterni-phobia →

Alive

The bathroom floor. That's where I've been sleeping and hanging out for the past few days/nights. It's somewhere to be alone, and an isolated space away from my cat whom I can feel can want and provide too much affection. First it was my mom and now it's the cat. On the next page is … Continue reading Alive →

2 5ths

Remember, remember the 5th of... January. In 2021, I made a blog post on January 5th, and in 2022 I made a related post on January 5th. I find it interesting how that occurred, so I'm doing so again, but this time intentionally. First, two years ago, I wrote the post Feariosity in which I … Continue reading 2 5ths →

On Radical Acceptance: An Addendum

In Meta-Beliefs, I wrote about how my therapist had introduced me to the concept of radical acceptance, how I questioned what acceptance even was, and my rejection of radical/absolute acceptance as I tried to understand it. During my trip, I decided that if radical acceptance were to be a thing, then radical acceptance had to … Continue reading On Radical Acceptance: An Addendum →

Meta-Beliefs

So titled as I explain my beliefs--that is, my opinions--about various beliefs. This was initially titled something else. I felt miffed today thinking about certain things so I decided to write about it. Here it is, along with the original title, Things That Can Annoy the Shit Out of Me and Why Certain Beliefs Law … Continue reading Meta-Beliefs →

Simplicity

Moving here—I feel I enjoyed the journey more than I enjoy the destination. On the way here, I splurged a bit on the food and lived life at least a little during that time. Man... that food is nostalgic, like that crispy tofu sandwich or that burrito that I ordered and didn't realize would be … Continue reading Simplicity →

Decay

I've felt for so long that once my parents were gone, I could finally end it. Now I'm here in this strange place alone, and I can feel that I want to be gone too. They're not here anymore so why should I even be here? I don't even know what I'm doing here, both … Continue reading Decay →