Frightened

Perhaps a bit of a strong word. Maybe I'm not frightened but apprehensive or simply scared. It's like I want to write about it, as I currently have no one to confide in about this concern, but I also don't want to, as though putting what's in my head into words will make it more … Continue reading Frightened →

Loop

Content Warning: suicide, drug trip Summer Trip I last got high on a certain over-the-counter substance almost a year ago—August 10, 2020. I felt nostalgic of my past experiences with this substance. In addition, I was stuck in a pattern of thinking—much the same as I have been recently—and I wanted to "change" my mind. … Continue reading Loop →

Feariosity

I don't like the idea of being part of a group. I quit one a year ago. At the same time, I feel like I need a safety net. Maybe I don't need groups for that purpose. Maybe other individuals would do. It's a matter of getting myself to find and keep them. I'm afraid … Continue reading Feariosity →

Reflection

Seven years ago around this time (September), I tried to end myself. What's changed since then? I don't feel as terribly depressed. Though the existential crises can still be difficult, I'm more or less acquainted with them. I've learned that I have social anxiety. I'd get this weird feeling either during or after being around … Continue reading Reflection →

We’re Going to Die

I'm glad that life is finite. I'm glad for the impermanence. Everyday mistakes don't mean so much in the grand scheme of things. Keeping in mind that we'll all be dead someday can make life more... dreamlike? More poignant... (*sigh* If anyone knows the word I'm looking for, please let me know.) Enjoy the sun's … Continue reading We’re Going to Die →

Red Light

We race but we all end up in the same place, so take your time and enjoy the scenery.