Meta-Meth

Being drawn to stories of hardship and resilience -- maybe we should think BEYOND this. Think beyond the hardships. Some contend that we are the author of our stories, that we (or perhaps even the "collective unconscious") compose the events -- that it's like enjoying tragic shows and horror movies. If we are the authors … Continue reading Meta-Meth →

Key-Phrase

All for One and One for All Something I recently said during a group session has been gnawing at me. In talking about the financial/money anxiety I frequently have even when I can be doing fine financially, I mentioned how my thoughts could turn to homelessness and the what-ifs of becoming so. I verbalized one … Continue reading Key-Phrase →

Rift

Different/Splitting Off Last month, I wrote something I still resonate with: I've felt like I'm flying solo, like I don't relate to (as in "identify with") others. […] I can feel I don't relate to people's pastimes and interests. I questioned if this was like some form of insanity, if we were to define being … Continue reading Rift →

I Am

After eight years, it turns out I'd been right all along? In September 2016, I felt I finally had a word that explained the way that I was. I'd broken down in my therapist's office, wishing I was dead, and three days later, I told my dad to take me there again. Since I didn’t … Continue reading I Am →

Trans-Label

Last time, I was unable to put into words what transcendence was to me, so I thought about it. I think for me, it has more than one meaning: to go beyond my current, everyday confines, like when I speak of "transcendental experiences" in which I experience something mystical and/or some ultimate truth seems to … Continue reading Trans-Label →

Candle-Lit Cake

Some time after writing my previous post, I actually started to feel good about being alive. I had a whim to get a bike. Even before I lived here, I thought about getting a bike to get around. But ever since being here, I'm still afraid of Running people over Being run over And also … Continue reading Candle-Lit Cake →

Nature

I fell into another depressive existential crisis yesterday. Started voice journaling about life and suffering and decided to turn it into a blog post: Not blaming anyone, any person, when it seems to me none of us asked to be how we are. And if we look past people and to nature itself, it's seemingly … Continue reading Nature →

Buddhism

Yes, I will criticize Buddhism too. To escape the suffering, it says, escape desire. But then the desire to escape desire, i.e. wanting to escape suffering, is a desire. So... that means that pinnacle of Buddhism is based on desire when it's meant to be a denouncement of desire. If Buddhism says not to give … Continue reading Buddhism →

Meta-Beliefs 2

I will define belief to be the following: something thought to be true despite there being little to no evidence (or questionable evidence) to think that thing in particular is true; often unfalsifiable. Beliefs can offer an explanation. They can be an attempt to fill in the gaps of our knowledge and understanding. The beliefs … Continue reading Meta-Beliefs 2 →

Misanthropy

To me, misanthropy ticks the box of all-or-nothing thinking, one of those concepts that can perhaps be arrived at by inductive reasoning and lead to overgeneralizing. From a particular forum that I've perused, it seems to me that it can also be projection as people attribute the bad that they see in themselves to all … Continue reading Misanthropy →