Key-Phrase

All for One and One for All Something I recently said during a group session has been gnawing at me. In talking about the financial/money anxiety I frequently have even when I can be doing fine financially, I mentioned how my thoughts could turn to homelessness and the what-ifs of becoming so. I verbalized one … Continue reading Key-Phrase →

I Am

After eight years, it turns out I'd been right all along? In September 2016, I felt I finally had a word that explained the way that I was. I'd broken down in my therapist's office, wishing I was dead, and three days later, I told my dad to take me there again. Since I didn’t … Continue reading I Am →

Friendgredients

Trust Perhaps somewhat like a plant’s delicate stem, trust can be so easily broken and so difficult to repair. Protect it if it is given to you. Trust is fragile. Trust is sacred. Vulnerability Vulnerability—openness and honesty. It can follow from trust. If someone trusts you, they can feel more willing to be vulnerable with … Continue reading Friendgredients →

Polarized

It started with changing my name. First as a preferred name—which brought about anxiety, excitement, an emotional high—and then the process of making it a legal name. During that process, there were things brought to my attention, things that I'd had thoughts, even passing ones, of doing before. Given my new found situation within the … Continue reading Polarized →

Suffering

Just gonna post my therapy assignment here. I was given a question... and then I answered it. The existential crisis that I refer to started on day 294. Question How do I balance being a highly sensitive person with suffering? Answers Answer written during an existential crisis Near the beginning of the crisis Consider that … Continue reading Suffering →

Nature

I fell into another depressive existential crisis yesterday. Started voice journaling about life and suffering and decided to turn it into a blog post: Not blaming anyone, any person, when it seems to me none of us asked to be how we are. And if we look past people and to nature itself, it's seemingly … Continue reading Nature →

Meta-Beliefs 2

I will define belief to be the following: something thought to be true despite there being little to no evidence (or questionable evidence) to think that thing in particular is true; often unfalsifiable. Beliefs can offer an explanation. They can be an attempt to fill in the gaps of our knowledge and understanding. The beliefs … Continue reading Meta-Beliefs 2 →

Meta-Beliefs

So titled as I explain my beliefs--that is, my opinions--about various beliefs. This was initially titled something else. I felt miffed today thinking about certain things so I decided to write about it. Here it is, along with the original title, Things That Can Annoy the Shit Out of Me and Why Certain Beliefs Law … Continue reading Meta-Beliefs →

Impostor

I can feel that I'm not good enough and that I don't know enough. I can think that others think I'm better than I am. I can also think that I'll be found out and revealed as the impostor that I can feel that I am. To avoid being exposed and also to try to … Continue reading Impostor →

Existential University

Content Warning: suicide, substance use, self-harm Past Days I initially went to college because I thought that was just what I was supposed to do. That was the message I got during high school. A few years before I graduated high school, I would think about life and question existence, but the existential depression didn't … Continue reading Existential University →