Rift

Different/Splitting Off Last month, I wrote something I still resonate with: I've felt like I'm flying solo, like I don't relate to (as in "identify with") others. […] I can feel I don't relate to people's pastimes and interests. I questioned if this was like some form of insanity, if we were to define being … Continue reading Rift →

Day 76: Alone

I felt alone today. It's 10pm and I currently feel alone. Earlier I felt I could handle it, but now it's like maybe the aloneness has morphed into anxiety? I fell asleep and woke up feeling this way. Perhaps I just need to preoccupy myself with something. Anxiety. Fear of... the future? I suppose I … Continue reading Day 76: Alone →

Grounded

I can feel like I'm going crazy when it seems everyone else is acting as if nothing's happening, but I know where my priorities lie. I must stand firm and hold tight to what I find important and allow no one to tell me that it isn't important. People can be neglectful of others because … Continue reading Grounded →

Isolation

I'll probably end up completely alone. Currently I have no friends because I felt I didn't want any and I haven't been reaching out to anyone. I have avoidant tendencies, can feel dismissive of relationships with others, and can be centered on being self-reliant. I realize my flaws and have a list of reasons to … Continue reading Isolation →

02:41

Why am I sitting outside at two in the morning? Insomnia. Felt bothered or irritated as I thought about life. Questioning therapy. "It seems like you want to get better because you're like, 'Hey, I'm in therapy, I want to start to feel better,' correct?" I said yes but what does it mean "to get … Continue reading 02:41 →

Converse, Connect

I oft have a thirst that seems insatiable. I'm hungry for more. I want more. It's never enough until it's too much and I have to spend my day recuperating in the cool darkness of my closet, jumping at the slightest of noises. And then I have to leave the closet because I am thirsty … Continue reading Converse, Connect →

My Life is Meaningful

While hugging a tree in the rain, I came to that conclusion. I'd gotten back from one of those events, only going out of a sense of obligation. I left in the middle of it. I love my life. It might not look like much from the outside, when compared to the standard, but it's … Continue reading My Life is Meaningful →

Alien

It's happening again. I want to run. I want to hide. I don't want to participate. Before, I felt as if I didn't belong. Looked to belong, but only felt that I was imposing. Tonight I realized maybe I don't want to fit in... at least not there. It's a different stage but it's the … Continue reading Alien →