Identities: An Addendum

I updated my post Identities after looking more into how trees that grow different kinds of fruit can be created. I'm just going to call myself out here and point out that the thing I initially wrote about trees being genetically modified to create such a hybrid tree was probably incorrect. Creating such a tree … Continue reading Identities: An Addendum →

Opening Your Third Eye

It is a beautiful and significant experience to heighten your extrasensory abilities to allow your consciousness to expand. Your consciousness--don't hold it in. Think of the fart cloud of consciousness. You want to open your third eye butthole to allow consciousness to expand. To open your third butthole, meditate. Feel the fart cloud of consciousness … Continue reading Opening Your Third Eye →

Cheesecake

Dear vegan cheesecake I ordered last night, When I first tried you, I thought you tasted like garbage. I took more bites and they tasted like already eaten food. I thought you were laughably bad. Even though I didn't like you, I put the rest of you in the fridge for later because I didn't … Continue reading Cheesecake →

(Trash) Fire

1:58 P.M. I can feel like I don't want to do this anymore. Other than wanting to die, I can also feel that I want to be on to the next thing. What if I were to throw it all away? Just as one might toss in the trash something they don't attach much meaning … Continue reading (Trash) Fire →

Hollow

12:28 A.M. June 7 (day 71)—the day of the profound trip that I've mentioned before. During that trip, I sent my therapist a text message. Well, multiple text messages, but there's one in particular: Killing myself isn't the answer. Suicide isn't the answer. Death isn't the answer. Keep going. TO WHERE? The question being how … Continue reading Hollow →

Suffering

Just gonna post my therapy assignment here. I was given a question... and then I answered it. The existential crisis that I refer to started on day 294. Question How do I balance being a highly sensitive person with suffering? Answers Answer written during an existential crisis Near the beginning of the crisis Consider that … Continue reading Suffering →

Nature

I fell into another depressive existential crisis yesterday. Started voice journaling about life and suffering and decided to turn it into a blog post: Not blaming anyone, any person, when it seems to me none of us asked to be how we are. And if we look past people and to nature itself, it's seemingly … Continue reading Nature →

Remember

Tonight, I opened the container of my mom's possessions that I brought along with me. As I lifted the lid, I was greeted by the fragrance of Japanese cherry blossom and the picture of her holding me as a baby. There were tears as I lay my head on the picture and stretched my arms … Continue reading Remember →

On Radical Acceptance: An Addendum

In Meta-Beliefs, I wrote about how my therapist had introduced me to the concept of radical acceptance, how I questioned what acceptance even was, and my rejection of radical/absolute acceptance as I tried to understand it. During my trip, I decided that if radical acceptance were to be a thing, then radical acceptance had to … Continue reading On Radical Acceptance: An Addendum →

Buddhism

Yes, I will criticize Buddhism too. To escape the suffering, it says, escape desire. But then the desire to escape desire, i.e. wanting to escape suffering, is a desire. So... that means that pinnacle of Buddhism is based on desire when it's meant to be a denouncement of desire. If Buddhism says not to give … Continue reading Buddhism →