I’m Fine. I’m ok.

I never wanted to get too close, afraid that I could feel in case you left. And I do feel, but I don't want to cry in front of her. She says she's glad I'm being strong. "I'm fine," I tell myself. Because I am. I'm fine. And tomorrow, a possible decision, majority rule; will … Continue reading I’m Fine. I’m ok. →

This Year has been…

(What follows is by no means meant to downplay the effects that the year's events have had on people. This is merely my experience.) ...a benefit to those with social anxiety. I have had an excuse not to leave the house. There's no more, "Get out there and connect with people," but an encouragement to … Continue reading This Year has been… →

Reflection

Seven years ago around this time (September), I tried to end myself. What's changed since then? I don't feel as terribly depressed. Though the existential crises can still be difficult, I'm more or less acquainted with them. I've learned that I have social anxiety. I'd get this weird feeling either during or after being around … Continue reading Reflection →

Perfectionism

Perhaps there are two kinds of perfection: objective and subjective. Objective perfection is theoretically achievable. The standards are measureable and unchanging. A perfect score on a test, for example. If there is a maximal achievable score of 100, then a perfect score is possible, and perfection in this sense is obtainable. Subjective perfection, on the … Continue reading Perfectionism →

Reconciliation

I can be either Literal --> metaphoricalLogical/reasoning --> emotional/unreasoningScientific --> artfulAll --> nothing Can one reason to the point of seeming unreasonableness? Can one be so literal, one becomes metaphorical (or vice versa)? A circular spectrum. And to consider that all itself contains nothing as well—a set of everything includes the empty set... but does … Continue reading Reconciliation →

Problems

Maybe they don't really exist but in the human mind. Maybe humans merely perceive things to be problems when really there is no such thing.

A Response to the Person in My Dream

Background So I just woke up from this dream. Um, I'll try to explain it. This girl asked me if I still disagreed with women selling themselves (as she put it). Apparently there were some YouTube comments saying that I had a weird facial expression when I would watch or see some women doing things … Continue reading A Response to the Person in My Dream →

Constructs

Seemingly, to be free, one must become enslaved. If one has no self-control, no discipline, then one may feel free to do what one pleases but can become slave to addictions and the undesirable consequences of actions. If one does have self-control, then one could see oneself as free of the consequences that would result … Continue reading Constructs →

Wut iz life lel

Floating on the open sea, no solid ground in sight. And if I do think I see solid ground, I'd likely consider it an illusion, something that my human mind made up. Still, I might swim to it regardless, stand on it then question if it's really real or if it's a construct of my … Continue reading Wut iz life lel →

Paradoxes

I googled "why do paradoxes exist," and I saw this part of an answer on Quora: In general, inconsistencies can exist, because we can conceive of them, and paradoxes exist because we try to match the physical world with our conceptual view of it, and we often fail. So a paradox may simply be a mismatch between our … Continue reading Paradoxes →