Angst

The fact that I exist continues to get to me. There's what's called existential therapy but it's all about responsibility which I'd rather avoid. Would rather focus on the moment and not think about the future with its unwanted obligations and consequences for not obliging. Would like my life to be as simple as comfortably … Continue reading Angst →

Slipknot

Lately I've been resistant and contrarian. I realize that my perspective is merely that–a perspective–yet I have difficulty being open to the contrary. I think it's at least partly because I think I have reached this perspective from logical conclusions. Perhaps I am afraid of letting go of what I consider to be logical. The … Continue reading Slipknot →

Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is meant to consist of universal human needs where lower levels of needs are more basic–the lowest being essential for survival–and form the foundation for higher levels, and ultimately the crowning concept of self-actualization. Physiological needs like food and water are essential for life. Safety needs are the next most essential. … Continue reading Needs →

Abstraction

An interface allows you to interact with an object without seeing its inner workings. Hiding an object's inner workings behind the wall of an interface is known as abstraction.Even though you don't necessarily know what's going on under the hood of a vehicle, you can still operate it by using the brake and gas pedals … Continue reading Abstraction →

Reason

Reason can be viewed as a golden crown atop humanity. "Look at us. We're so smart. We can reeeasooon." But reasoning has its flaws. Deductive Reasoning Deductive reasoning is starting with a set of premises to form a conclusion. Premise 1: All chocolate bars are tasty.Premise 2: A Snicker's is a chocolate bar.Conclusion: Therefore a … Continue reading Reason →

Feariosity

I don't like the idea of being part of a group. I quit one a year ago. At the same time, I feel like I need a safety net. Maybe I don't need groups for that purpose. Maybe other individuals would do. It's a matter of getting myself to find and keep them. I'm afraid … Continue reading Feariosity →

Dormant

Waiting for the pointless cycle to end. It exists for no sufficient reason, continues merely because of inertia. I don't want to participate. Perhaps the cycle will never end, but eventually, my participation will. I find myself here again, resigned to the belief that this cyclical perpetuation is meaningless; it's driven only by the inertia … Continue reading Dormant →

Apply

Apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply apply. I might start dreaming about job applications. I feel like this is a challenge for me. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Anxiety and feeling stressed and frequently getting to the point where I'm tired of staring at job … Continue reading Apply →

Uninsured

I might not have health coverage for the first half of next year since it seems I'm not eligible for anything. It's like I'm too broke for marketplace coverage but not broke enough for government assistance. Like... what? All the more reason to get a job. Oh boy. You can tell you're an adult when … Continue reading Uninsured →

Goodbye

I believe my dad would have just wanted me to be happy. He's gone now and things will be different, but I believe we can make it. Connection--it's an important thing among hoomans. And I happen to be a hooman so... But yeah, it's really important, and I think it's possibly key to a happy … Continue reading Goodbye →