Closeted

Successfully evade having to interact with a maintenance person by hiding in my closet the entire time: check. I did zero work today because I’ve been worrying mad about various things (yay for anxiety and feeling too much…) and I spent the day in a closet instead. It feels safe in here, a sanctuary from … Continue reading Closeted →

Single-Tasking

The morning started with depression. I had a package waiting for me outside that had been delivered yesterday. I was going to wait until the night or the wee hours of the morning to get it because not only did I not want to step outside, I didn't want to be seen by anyone. I … Continue reading Single-Tasking →

Alive

The bathroom floor. That's where I've been sleeping and hanging out for the past few days/nights. It's somewhere to be alone, and an isolated space away from my cat whom I can feel can want and provide too much affection. First it was my mom and now it's the cat. On the next page is … Continue reading Alive →

Biolimits

After two weeks of sipping the tea, I've had my mix of depression and euphoria. Though yesterday's appointment for a potential future thing went well enough, I left questioning everything. The seven-mile walk home was filled with self-doubt (What am I doing??); wishing I wasn't like this, as I've done before; and frustration with life/biology … Continue reading Biolimits →

Chamomile Tea

Yesterday, I lay around for much of the day. I felt so tired and even napped two times. I thought maybe it was a combination of my lack of sleep the previous night and walking ten miles the previous day. Despite the extra sleep I got, though, I've felt tired and sleepy and I napped … Continue reading Chamomile Tea →

May 10 = Day 1

After about a year of considering it, I have begun "the thing" today. Yesterday, I felt so excited about the prospect of starting. I felt I had an exciting reason to get up the next day. Today, though, I dragged myself out of bed cot (My ten-mile walk didn't help me get the restful sleep … Continue reading May 10 = Day 1 →