It seems that perhaps I am an information glutton.
I need answers. I need information. I need to know what’s going on, or at least have a general idea.
The most recent person I visited (to get answers about “the thing” I’ve been wanting to start) has turned out not to be beneficial for that. After getting results back, I found myself back where I’d started in terms of getting answers. I sent this person a message about it to offer a hypothesis and ask questions. They replied to my three-paragraph message with merely three words—essentially “just do it”—that didn’t answer my pressing questions or explain anything.
For this reason, and despite just wanting to jump into the thing I’ve been thinking about so much and have been considering for almost a year now, I’ve decided to continue to hold off. Because I need more information.
I don’t want to introduce something into my body that could either worsen issues or simply obscure any future results that I might need for answers. I don’t want to wish I would have waited. I need to have an explanation of whether this is really okay for me to do—and why it is or isn’t okay.
I called around today to try to see a second person sooner than four weeks. One of the calls got my hopes up, but then my hopes were dashed. My last call moments ago inspired me to make this post, because I got information from it—a kind of pro tip on how to potentially see someone sooner.
Informatiooooon. I need it. I eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I drink it with every meal. I sprinkle it on popcorn. I lick it on a cone during summer months. Can you tell I’m hungry?
And I’m exaggerating. But still.
After talking to my therapist today about waiting and my intermittent distress with doing so (and wondering if I was potentially making a big deal out of nothing and being more concerned than I should be), I feel more calm and confident in my decision to wait. It’s similar to the things that I’ve already done, when I waited to get information on other options. I feel good that I did that; there’s no wondering what if because I explored all the options I had procured. If I ever do start “the thing,” perhaps I’ll be more confident in doing so, because I will have waited to get more answers.
More answers. More informationnnnnnn.
It’s not that big of a deal if I die before ever getting to do “the thing.” It’s more concerning to do it and have health issues especially because I didn’t wait.
I’m going to waaaaaaait.
Will I ever start the thing or won’t I? Dunno. Stay tuned to find out in the next season of Currently Untitled!
Currently Untitled 