Again I’m in the waiting room. Again I’ve passed the point of contentedly coasting and reached the point of wanting something to happen. Last time I left here for a master’s degree because I felt I didn’t know what else to do with myself.
I want to do something*, but the vague opportunities require more waiting— waiting for results, waiting to see what, if anything, happens.
In the meantime, since I want to do something and it’s not quite feasible right now to alter my external world, I focus on myself by learning** and working on beneficial habits***. Though I can still struggle at times with my mood and outlook on life, doing these things has seemed to help. In addition, maybe if or when something does happen, I’ll be prepared.
*Technically, I am doing something (remnants of the master’s program), but (1) I often still feel like I’m not doing anything due to procrastination or waiting on feedback, (2) I’m not getting paid, and (3) I’m moreso thinking about the future and being prepared for it.
**It can be difficult to pinpoint what to learn since I’m not sure what I’ll be doing in the future, so I might end up going back and forth between a million different subjects, but I’ve seemed to’ve converged on a general theme so far… I guess. I’m trying to focus on widely applicable topics until I have a more concrete idea of what I’ll be doing.
***Positive thinking, healthy choices, hooking my brain up to my computer so I can reprogram my mind. You know, the usual.
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